10 Things To Say To a Pregnant Woman if You Want To Risk Your Life

 

  1. “ARE YOU SURE THOSE AREN’T TWINS? OR TRIPLETS?” 

… No. No. No. No. Why don’t you just say, “Are you sure you’re a human and not a whale?”“Are you sure you didn’t eat your husband?”. F— off.

2. “YOU LOOK LIKE YOU’RE READY TO POP ANY DAY!!!” 

Oh, really? Are you an OBGYN? This is an even unfriendlier way of saying, “You look just awful!” and little do you know, she could be 4 months along. Now, back to your cubicle.

3. “WHAT IF IT’S NOT A GIRL? WHAT WILL YOU DO?!”

… Have a boy?

4. “YOU’RE CARRYING REALLY HIGH/LOW… YOU SHOULD GET THAT LOOKED AT.”

You should probably get your beer belly looked at… SIR.

5. “YOU DON’T LOOK PREGNANT FROM BEHIND!”

That’s weird. Considering nobody carries a child in their ass.

6. “BETTER SLEEP NOW!!! WHILE YOU CAN!” 

Great advice. Thank you.

7. “DO YOU KNOW WHO THE FATHER IS?”

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8. “YOUR FEET LOOK LIKE SAUSAGES”

So does your entire body, Steve.

9. “HOPEFULLY YOU GET YOUR FIGURE BACK!”

That hasn’t been on her mind THE ENTIRE 9 MONTHS AT ALL THANK YOU

10. “SORRY, WE’RE OUT OF (FOOD)

Run.

 

THINGS TO SAY TO A PREGNANT WOMAN:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nothing. Don’t talk.

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