A man’s hairstyle is a very personal thing. They might not talk about it as much as women do, but they fixate on it just as much as women do. The way you cut and style your hair provides clues to the rest of the world about how you see yourself.
Bed Head - A guy has to spend a lot of time in front of the mirror to look like he didn’t, but that’s no chore when you love looking at yourself as much as you do. On the merest of summer days, you find reason to shed your shirt. You are well educated but hide it well. You’ve never had to try too hard for anything. You throw a mean Frisbee. In your pocket right now, there is a tube of lip balm.
The Moptop (aka…the Bieber) - You are adorable. It’s kind of distracting. Might have something to do with the fact that you’re 12 years old. Oh, sorry, you only look 12 years old. Also, you like exclamation marks in your Facebook updates!! You probably keep a journal. As a kid, you went to church sleepaway camp, and this year you’re going to return as a counselor, guitar in hand. Your popularity is as inexplicable as it is undeniable.
MR. Baldy - Your sense of style sucks. One foot in the grave, son. Also, you’re a dud in bed. J/K — that’s what you think people think when they see your partial dome, which goes a long way toward explaining the Corvette. Funny part is, you still spend as much time messing with it as you did when you had hair. What are you doing in there? You’ve been known to ask, upon seeing a picture of yourself, “Am I really that bald?”
The Afro - You are a great man to have at a party. You’re a natural cutup. You’re working on a screenplay. You are aggressively antiestablishment. – plus funny dancing that is, at the same time, pretty good dancing. Hair-wise, you’ve opted for the old strategy of calling attention to the very thing that makes you most anxious: your tight, curly ‘fro. And underneath your class-clown act is a wriggling mass of insecurity. You are, like some domestic pets, too smart for your own good.
The Jesus - Nothing says “I do not have a real job” like long, flowing, dirty New Testament locks. Which is fine with you, ’cause you’ve got all the job you need at the comic book shop. You spend a lot of time on eBay…God help you if the girlfriend ever leaves.