My Mom Sent Me These In The Mail
My mom is really worried about me getting fat, (I think she’s a little too late) so she sent me these shoes that are supposed to make you skinny or something.
So I put them on and they haven’t made me skinnier yet, but I had a bet with my intern that i couldn’t eat a box of Oreos every day, and I’m winning so that could be why. What they HAVE done is improved my posture. I have way better posture, which women love. I walk down the streets and girls look at me and say “Is that Big Boy?” “Look at his posture!” “He has the sexiest posture I have EVER seen!” and stuff like that.